Re Search

This is a conversation that was created after reading a few articles I came across on news websites. Sit back and enjoy..

Me: Hey Re and Search! How are you guys?
Re: I'm fine dude
Search: Wazz happening?

Me: I'm good guys. Just was musing over some recent research studies and findings
Re: Oh really?
Search: Yeah every news channel comes up with research analysis these days

Me: So this article is about how your life will imporve if you have steamy sex in the morning.
Re: Ho boy! All I get in the morning are burnt pancakes and stale milk
Search: I get steamy stuff man...Just that it ain't sex

Me: No guys really...I read this article
Re: You know what I'm wondering? Do the researchers get any practical training during these studies?
Search: If they did, those nerds would get LAID!!

Me: Interestingly enough, I read another article which says that your sex life will improve if your parents do not beat you as a kid.
Re: No wonder! I got my ass whopped when I was a kid! Little did I know it'll slow my sex life this much!
Search: I'd rather refrain from this topic. I had a bad childhood...it's showing up now!

Me: You know we should conduct our own research man...This kinda shit will get us some publicity and some money!
Re: Which asshole is going to fund the project?

Me: All you need is a good topic to work upon...we'll find someone and burn his cash
Search: I have a few in mind actually....
Re: Well, let's hear them!

Search: We can say Research shows that pigs like dirt
Re: Oh yeah! That's a good topic! I have one more...Research shows that Eating healthy can enable a man to stay in shape.
Me: Now we're getting somewhere. All we need are topics like these and some jackass will pay us to carry our research.

Re: We also need to make sure that we throw a couple of things about sex in there!
Me: Yeah, people read anything remotely related to sex. It's like free porn for them!
Search: I got another one. Research shows that having sex for the first time helps you lose your virginity!
Re: Yeah man! That's a good one. People don't really know about that.

Me: We also need lots of dumb topics too. Because that's what research is all about.
Re: I got it! Research shows that if you stay outside on a hot day, you are likely to get a headache.
Search: A couple more like that and we're golden!

Me: Research shows that driving a car gets you to a place faster than walking on foot!
Re: Yeah..people will definitely read that one with great interest

Me: Now that we have our ideas, lets find some corporate stooge and become sellouts!
Re: Yeah....let's get on it
Search: Right on!

And so you have it! Lots of new ideas that will pan out as research studies. Watch the news pages. Atleast one of these will soon be there!

Quest For Culture

I had a rather interesting chat with my friends yesterday night. We touched topics ranging from how the stars rule one's life to conceptualizing the exsistence of the Almighty. Somewhere in between we were musing about the culture and traditions that India stands for.

All of us had different viewpoints. What is culture? What is tradition? We could not arrive at one conclusive answer to both these questions. Can culture be intepreted as something that has been handed from generation to generation? Can we say culture exists in the way we practise the art of living? Maybe it is different for every individual and the way he/she perceives it. Yet, similar to the mysteries of the universe, there were more questions than answers.

I argued that culture is, in short, "Be good, Do good". What our ancestors believed need not be applicable to us. As long as we remain true to the inner voice, we exhibit a cultured living. To me culture can be seen in the way a child respects his parents. To me culture is a teenager not influenced by alcohol/cigarettes. Having said that, I know good friends who drink and smoke regularly but still carry out the duties of a son respectfully. Is my opinion on culture incorrect then?

Outward appearances and westernization may have hit the common man in India today. We hear about rape and illicit sex becoming the order of the day in our country. Would the great gods and sages of the past forseen this behaviour when they defined culture? Again, more questions than answers!

One longs to be in the arms of comfort when he is deprived of it. I want to undertake the quest for these answers when I am homeward bound. How much will I be able to satisfy my thirst remains to be seen. Noone can take away your identity but I believe you can surely shape it if you know what you seek and desire. Self discovery is, quite similar to spiritual discovery. Yet, I have experience of neither to quantify it.

A friendly chat inspired this post. Will an eager desire be able to identify it?

Anil K(ing)ble vs Steve (F***)nor

I normally do not express my views about cricket matches. I have believed that it should be left to the experts. I witnessed an extremely engrossing test match between India and Australia and will remember it for all the wrong reasons for many many years to come.

There are only certain things that can be said on television...the so called ethics comes into play there. But there are no such boundaries here. This is my space and I am the king here. I shall refrain from the technicalities because they have been presented quite beautifully in these links. I shall just stick to what I personally believed.

Taking a leaf out of Gautham Bhimani's post match presentation:

1) Mike Hussey should have been given out off Ishant Sharma when there was a clear nick off his bat. The umpires were catching their forty winks there.
2) Andrew Symonds had nicked the ball so loud that even the smallest hair on my ass heard it. But it seems like Steve Bucknor did not have my ass on his ear and as a result he did not hear anything.
3) Symonds was caught napping when M.S.Dhoni did some super quick work behind the stumps in the second innings on two occasions. On both counts the umpires thought they shall let Symonds continue to bat because of the strong "partnership" they had developed.
4) Rahul Dravid had his wall broken just when he had laid the foundation. Again Bucknor reminded me of that spoilt little kid who pees in the living room just after it has been cleaned. You just feel like whopping his ass.
5) Saurav Ganguly was given out caught behind by Mark Benson. Micheal Clarke cliamed that he had caught the ball cleanly and an ignorant captain supported his cause. Benson should have referred to the square leg umpire but took Ponting's word. I know ignorance can be a bliss, but in this case it required a bitch slap.
6) Ponting dove around like a cat on a hot pan to hold on to what he believed was a "correct" catch off M.S.Dhoni. If Ponting was right, then the TV cameras were wrong. And according to him they were! Oh, you poor technology...I am sorry to say you have died here.

I have always believed that fortune favours the brave. But in this case, it fucked us on the deal. Team India played against 13 players without the 12th man on the field! The force of a billion people could just stand and watch the atrocities that were committed on the field. After a lot of discussions and post match analysis, here's what I feel.

1) When the Australians get kicked at, they do not go down sportingly. All kinds of tactics were conjured up that reminded me of the arguments we used to have when playing street cricket.
2) Post their "win", Ponting said in reference to Saurav's dismissal fiasco that "That's how the game should be played". I think just because Ponting is the captain of a world class team, he rules the world and has a say in everything. If a man claims he is so honest, why the hell did'nt he walk when he had edged the ball in the first innings? Well, Mr.Ponting, just like how you think you own everything in cricket, I think you are an arrogant man and I own this space.
3) Hats off to Saurav when he did not acknowledge the crowd after reaching his 50. The mark of protest was clearly seen. I am sure if Dada were captian, we would have noticed a walk out similar to Sunil Gavaskar/Chetan Chauhan and Arjuna Ranatunga/Team Sri Lanka.
4) I bow down in reverence to Anil Kumble who maintianed dignity while talking to the media unlike his counterpart. I felt goosebumps when I saw Team India walking out to the field to congratulate them on the win. I personally feel they should not have done it but they rose above the game itself.
5) It will be interesting to see if an issue is raised against Australia's excessive appealing. Their reaction to every appeal turned down was as if they thought that the umpires were complete jackasses. Whether or not it ensures a penalty is a topic for another day. I guess in the ICC rule book if a team from the sub-continent is charged, they should be fucked! All other teams can do whatever they please.

6) I feel public speaking techniques and people management classes that Team India receives should be withdrawn. Play cricket just the way you play in crowded parks and narrow streets where every player is an authority. Believe me, that's the approach needed while playing in Australia.
7) I salute Harsha Bhogle and Sunil Gavaskar for a super post match talk. I especially loved the way Mr.Bhogle grilled all concerned in a sublime manner. As always Mr.Gavaskar's emotions were worth watching and his thoughts worth listening. Hats off to you Sirs! I now know why you are deeply respected in the cricketing fraternity.

Anyway, all has been completed. I cannot help but smile at the fact that if the roles were reversed, and if India had been in Australia's position, the game would have been played in much better spirit and dignity. Go Team India...Go Anil Kumble! You have locked horns with the bull and almost brought it down. Hang in there because one billion people are behind you to pick you up if you fall.

Ministry Of Music

I stumbled upon this profile on youtube while looking through some Dire Straits covers....This guy is awesome. Nothing fancy, nothing hard just good ol' stumming/rhythm on some super tracks. From CCR to Dire Straits..from Bob Dylan to Sting...from Beatles to Eagles....this guy really gives the original artists a run for their money!

Having gone through his profile on youtube, he used to be a subway singer. It's just wonderful to find pure talent hidden underground! Kudos to Mr.Malvasio....Hope you guys like him too.

On another note, I've always been meaning to write this. There are a few songs that just soaks you into them. I had the opportunity to witness firsthand as to how a song can get you so invloved(read lonesome late night drive). Here's my list of those soulful songs:

1)Brothers In Arms- Dire Straits
2)Every Breath You Take- The Police
3)Knockin' On Heaven's Door- Bob Dylan
4)Golden Heart- Mark Knopfler
5)Horse With No Name- America
6)Classical Gas- Mason Williams
7)Wild Mountain Thyme- Mark Knopfler
8)American Pie- Don Mclean
9)Please Forgive Me- Bryan Adams
10)The Last Resort- The Eagles
11)Tears In Heaven- Eric Clapton
12)I'd Love You To Want Me- Lobo
13)Russians- Sting
14)Chariots Of Fire- Vangelis
15)Affirmation- Savage Garden

16)Red Dirt Girl- Emmylou Harris

17)Wonderful Tonight- Eric Clapton

18)Romeo and Juliet- Dire Straits

19)Done With Bonaparte- Mark Knopfler

20)Nothing Else Matters -Metallica

Start Meejik...Roll Phillim

Today was good! Had no work at work...had lunch with friends..came home really early....felt good speaking to one of my really good friends on the way home....had a super dinner with friends...and now planning to go for a drive listening to Mark Knopfler!

So a casual, lazy day you may say. Like I mentioned before, dinner was a congregation of friends, most of whom I know really well, some in the process of getting to know. I happened to watch some bits and pieces of Nach Baliye and realized that we have some pretty good talent. Then we saw some new movie songs and I realized that we have no talent there! I do not mean to speak ill about our movies. I am very eagerly awaiting Taare Zameen Par, a movie that has exceeded audience expectations before it begins. I enjoyed watching Nayagan,Lagaan, Andaaz Apna Apna, Chak De India, Swades which, according to me has become a cult classic. And these are just to name a few. But the new movies are BAD! No acting, no dance, no choreography and more importantly no direction! It's just a bunch of people running around. I cannot believe that an idiot actually put his money just to show some hot chick in the skimpiest clothes imaginable that she would be a social outcast!

Be that as it may, and barring a few good movies, I think we do have a long way to get to Hollywood. I have witnessed some great, mind blowing movies over the past few years. Men of Honour, inspires me to this day. Deep end of the Ocean is the epitome of drama, Rocky urges the youth in me to come out. A Beautiful Mind is a wordless wonder. Batman Begins was The Dark Knight at his best (I am counting the days for Summer 2008 when the Dark Knight Returns!). I have seen Ice Age a million times. The Bourne Trilogy can be seen all together without a break and you would not know the time that flew by! The Italian Job keeps you at the edge of your seat right from the word go. These are just the tip of the iceberg.

Coming back to Indian cinema, Bollywood is all about the masala. I would actually categorize most Indian movies in that. I saw a couple of Telugu movies and I think if I would have seen them in my school days, I would have failed Physics and definitely failed Logic! And if I would have watched the tele serials, I would have failed life. To be honest, all the tele serials are the same....Two women bitching about each other and about a million other actors that would cause your head to go topsy turvy...leaving you with the three golden words...What The FUCK!!!

Anyway, closing on the satire, it was a good day today.

Maa...

A couple of events spurred this post. One was a conversation with a colleague and the other was a Wall Street Article sent by a friend.

India, Bharat, Hindustan- A land of multiple names, a force of over a billion people. A country steeped in history,culture and traditions. A democracy that is forcing it's way to the top. The land of Gods, from Sages to Gandhi, from M.S.Subbalakshmi to Sachin Tendulkar, if it is talent you are seeking, you are looking at the oh so familiar, vaguely triangular piece of land jutting out from the base of the Asian continent.

As students and now, as working professionals a lot of us squeezed out of the protective arms of our motherland to seek solace elsewhere, but the domestic call has been ringing in our ears. Trends are changing now. The quintessential Indian who opted for the prized Green Card and US citizenship, is now thinking his thoughts through. I have come to know a lot of people who, are returning back home to their motherland...to their roots.

As these events surround me, I wish to present my side of why the Mother's call has been ringing in my ears too! So here goes...

-> I want to get stuck in traffic with horns blaring and mobile shops selling chana
-> I want to walk on Worli sea face with the waves splashing it's misty foam on my face
-> I want to drink filter coffee made by my mother each day before going to work
-> I want people to stare at me awkwardly when I thank them
-> I want to drive a manual transmission vehicle on the "right" side of the road
-> I want use the public transport at wee hours in the night
-> I want to be served food on the flight even if it is only for thirty minutes
-> I want to see "General Stores" which is a one stop Wal-Mart at walking distance from home
-> I want to go to a medical shop and get medicines without hundered forms and prescriptions
-> I want to have official, expired auto insurance and still be able to drive my vehicle
-> I want to have the local mechanic work on my vehicle and charge me a nominal fee
-> I want to drive on Marine Drive and experience freeways right in the heart of the city
-> I want to be able to wear formals to work and have my boss yell at me
-> I want to interact with "don't give a damn" government servants
-> I want to go to my college where the first thing you see is Lord Ganesha
-> I want to use the toilet without toilet paper
-> I want the familar plastic tub and mug to have my bath
-> I want to be able to eat outside beyond midnight
-> I want to take a late night walk around Shivaji park with hundreds of people
-> I want to get directions to a place by asking people on the road
-> I want to use the SI system for measurment
-> I want to see women dressed in Sarees or salwaar kameez
-> I want to go to temples and hear the namaz chants from mosques early in the morning
-> I want to build my furniture thorough carpenters and not assemble it myself
-> I want to see senior citizens discuss current affairs during their morning walk
-> I want to see my kids start their day in school with prayers
-> I want to eat Alphonso mangoes during the summer
-> I want to celebrate festivals with family and relatives
-> I want to see people being driven around
-> I want to go to the beach to eat bhel puri and sandwiches
-> I want to be able to travel by Indian railways in three tier coaches and sleep on the top
-> I want to eat Idli, Vada and chutney served by the Indian railways
-> I want to see my kids hear bedtime stories from their grandparents
-> I want to travel in a double decker bus and sit on the top front row
-> I want to see houses made of bricks and concrete with multiple layers of paint
-> I want to see friends who have known me better than I know myself
-> I want to get up early to stand for hours to see Siddhi Vinayak on Ganesh Chaturthi
-> I want to use sms and missed calls as the main form of communication
-> I want to see Mahatma Gandhi's face on the Indian Rupee note
-> I want to carry more than a thousand rupees in my pocket
-> I want to travel during rush hour in Mumbai local trains
-> I want to send my kids to school in auto rickshaw pools
-> I want to be amidst company that talks about cricket and movies
-> I want to read India Today
-> I want to be able to read The Times Of India whilst having my morning coffee
-> I want to visit orphanages and donate to the needy
-> I want to go to Meenakshi temple and just stare at the beauty of the Goddess
-> I want to seek blessings from temple elephants
-> I want to eat Krishna sweets' Mysore Pauk and Grand sweets' potato chips
-> I want to drive by all the streets and roads that I used to frequent and invoke nostalgia
-> I want to see entertainment programmes in languages that are native to India
-> I want to look at the Bandra Worli sea link from a small street at Shivaji Park
-> I want to go for unplanned, destinationless drives on a motorcycle at night
-> I want to go to Nariman Point and compare it to New York city
-> I want to be able to say town and not downtown
-> I want to meet all my teachers
-> I want to have long talks with my friends late into the night
-> I want to just look at my parents and thank them without having to say a word

Some things that can only be longed when you are far. Just to take a leaf out of the Mastercard advertisement, there is only money that USA can provide, for the bigger picture called life there is India!

Dreamt in India...Made in Germany...Owned in America

Automobiles are synonimous to guys much the same way jewelery is to girls. Every guy has a dream car that he hopes he will own someday. From collecting pictures to dinky cars, from technical expertise to silly arguments, guys have always been passionate about the automobile.

BMWs, Ferraris, Mercedes Benzs, Lexuses, Maseratis, Lamborghinis, Porsches, Mustangs...aaah... every guy gets to orgasmic stage immediately after this foreplay! To us, the car is not just a means of transport from point A to B. It is about passion and the pleasure that's as sweet as drinking water from an oasis.

One of the first major purchases after obtaining full time work. The thrill of test drives, the feel of the machine is just awesome. Having gone through one myself, I can vouch that the time you first drive your baby out is truly a Kodak moment! It is doubly exciting when all my friends have gone into this mode pretty much at the same time. So long telephone calls and knowledge transfer has been the order of the day.

My black beauty is my pride and joy at the moment. For a guy who's been passionate about cars ever since I can remember, the Blue/White symbol with trademark twin headlamps and grille meant that nirvana had been attained. I can almost touch the halo over my head now!

I know she'll keep me happy for a long time and I know I'll not give her a reason not to! So symbiotic relationship it is. So I'll end this post with the excitement that is, my dream, my babe, my soul mate, my pride, my joy...my car.