This is a conversation that was created after reading a few articles I came across on news websites. Sit back and enjoy..
Me: Hey Re and Search! How are you guys?
Re: I'm fine dude
Search: Wazz happening?
Me: I'm good guys. Just was musing over some recent research studies and findings
Re: Oh really?
Search: Yeah every news channel comes up with research analysis these days
Me: So this article is about how your life will imporve if you have steamy sex in the morning.
Re: Ho boy! All I get in the morning are burnt pancakes and stale milk
Search: I get steamy stuff man...Just that it ain't sex
Me: No guys really...I read this article
Re: You know what I'm wondering? Do the researchers get any practical training during these studies?
Search: If they did, those nerds would get LAID!!
Me: Interestingly enough, I read another article which says that your sex life will improve if your parents do not beat you as a kid.
Re: No wonder! I got my ass whopped when I was a kid! Little did I know it'll slow my sex life this much!
Search: I'd rather refrain from this topic. I had a bad childhood...it's showing up now!
Me: You know we should conduct our own research man...This kinda shit will get us some publicity and some money!
Re: Which asshole is going to fund the project?
Me: All you need is a good topic to work upon...we'll find someone and burn his cash
Search: I have a few in mind actually....
Re: Well, let's hear them!
Search: We can say Research shows that pigs like dirt
Re: Oh yeah! That's a good topic! I have one more...Research shows that Eating healthy can enable a man to stay in shape.
Me: Now we're getting somewhere. All we need are topics like these and some jackass will pay us to carry our research.
Re: We also need to make sure that we throw a couple of things about sex in there!
Me: Yeah, people read anything remotely related to sex. It's like free porn for them!
Search: I got another one. Research shows that having sex for the first time helps you lose your virginity!
Re: Yeah man! That's a good one. People don't really know about that.
Me: We also need lots of dumb topics too. Because that's what research is all about.
Re: I got it! Research shows that if you stay outside on a hot day, you are likely to get a headache.
Search: A couple more like that and we're golden!
Me: Research shows that driving a car gets you to a place faster than walking on foot!
Re: Yeah..people will definitely read that one with great interest
Me: Now that we have our ideas, lets find some corporate stooge and become sellouts!
Re: Yeah....let's get on it
Search: Right on!
And so you have it! Lots of new ideas that will pan out as research studies. Watch the news pages. Atleast one of these will soon be there!
Me: Hey Re and Search! How are you guys?
Re: I'm fine dude
Search: Wazz happening?
Me: I'm good guys. Just was musing over some recent research studies and findings
Re: Oh really?
Search: Yeah every news channel comes up with research analysis these days
Me: So this article is about how your life will imporve if you have steamy sex in the morning.
Re: Ho boy! All I get in the morning are burnt pancakes and stale milk
Search: I get steamy stuff man...Just that it ain't sex
Me: No guys really...I read this article
Re: You know what I'm wondering? Do the researchers get any practical training during these studies?
Search: If they did, those nerds would get LAID!!
Me: Interestingly enough, I read another article which says that your sex life will improve if your parents do not beat you as a kid.
Re: No wonder! I got my ass whopped when I was a kid! Little did I know it'll slow my sex life this much!
Search: I'd rather refrain from this topic. I had a bad childhood...it's showing up now!
Me: You know we should conduct our own research man...This kinda shit will get us some publicity and some money!
Re: Which asshole is going to fund the project?
Me: All you need is a good topic to work upon...we'll find someone and burn his cash
Search: I have a few in mind actually....
Re: Well, let's hear them!
Search: We can say Research shows that pigs like dirt
Re: Oh yeah! That's a good topic! I have one more...Research shows that Eating healthy can enable a man to stay in shape.
Me: Now we're getting somewhere. All we need are topics like these and some jackass will pay us to carry our research.
Re: We also need to make sure that we throw a couple of things about sex in there!
Me: Yeah, people read anything remotely related to sex. It's like free porn for them!
Search: I got another one. Research shows that having sex for the first time helps you lose your virginity!
Re: Yeah man! That's a good one. People don't really know about that.
Me: We also need lots of dumb topics too. Because that's what research is all about.
Re: I got it! Research shows that if you stay outside on a hot day, you are likely to get a headache.
Search: A couple more like that and we're golden!
Me: Research shows that driving a car gets you to a place faster than walking on foot!
Re: Yeah..people will definitely read that one with great interest
Me: Now that we have our ideas, lets find some corporate stooge and become sellouts!
Re: Yeah....let's get on it
Search: Right on!
And so you have it! Lots of new ideas that will pan out as research studies. Watch the news pages. Atleast one of these will soon be there!
