The Mask Behind the Face

I have been afraid and my worst fears came true
I have been living in the shadow of my alter ego
I don't have an identity of my own
I spend most of my life in calculated disgust and anguish while I make people laugh
I use wit and humour as a defense mechanism
I play the joker role to the point of no return
I let people walk over me
I am afraid to speak my mind
I always have contradictory thoughts
I am always confused
I am not creative. I cannot think out of the box. I have no imagination
I have been suppressed by myself
I am complicated
I am not forthright
I do not have complete mastery over anything. I have not been truly good at anything in my life
I have always lived in the shadow of others
I think whoever I am, whatever I am is just luck
I do not persevere enough
I think being romantic is corny. I have been bowled head over heels by only one person. I will never experience that feeling ever again in my life
I am not opinionated. I do not have clarity in my thoughts
I am not a good orator
I am not satisfied with what I have
I don't have a clue of what I am doing with my life
I don't think I can make an impact in someone's life
I will not make a good husband
I do not take well to criticism. I only get more confused by it
I cannot differentiate between hard work and smart work
I am too lazy to learn. I shirk and take the easy way out
I do not know how to handle serious responsibility
I cannot differentiate between idealism and practicality
I do not think anyone will give a shit if I suddenly die
I am easily influenced by others
I cannot concentrate on one thing ever for a short while
I cannot be one with myself
I introspect much but never act on it
I will not be able to choose a partner for myself
I will not be a good role model for my kids
I will not be able to earn true respect from my wife, family or friends

I live therefore I am
I breathe therefore I am
I exist therefore I am

I am the Mask behind the Face