Why?

Why are we born? What is our purpose in the Divine will? What is our contribution to the universe? Are we one with it?

Why are we protected in the womb for nine months? Why do we cry the moment we come out of it? Why are we given the parents we have? Which birth of ours is this one? Do we know it as a child? Can we really hear the voice of God when we are babies? Why do our parents care for us so much? Do we really care for them? Why is the only altruistic love that of a mother's? Why do they constantly put our happiness before theirs?

Why are we educated? Why are the most important things learnt by practice? How does an illiterate man learn the values of life? Are we all illiterate before God? Why cannot supernatural phenomena be explained? Why do we believe only in what we see? Can we ever comprehend the unexplained?

Why do we run this rat race? What happens after one race is completed? How many more do we have to run? What happens at the end of it all? Why do we follow a protocol in life?

Why do we get married to someone? How do we know a soulmate? Why do we love someone so dearly? Why is our first love so special? Why is it difficult to unite with our first love? Why don't we ever forget it? Why does it hurt when turned down? Why do we compromise after marriage? Why do we fight and make up? Why do we need a partner to share our feelings with?

Why do we feel the pressure to perform? Why can't we maintain focus when things don't look bright? Why do we fail? Do we possess the will to fight back? Why do we find excuses for our failures? What is success? How do we measure it? Is it relative? Why do we want more? Can we ever be content with what we have?

Why do we spend money? Why do we save it? Why are we slaves to it? Is there anyone who has true superiority to money? How much is too much? Why do we compare salaries? Why do we feel jealous of others' success? Why do others mock our success? Why do we act professional? Why do others want gain at your cost? Why do we do the same?

Why do we feel the importance of something when we do not have it? Why don't we realize an entity's importance when we do not struggle to get it? Why do we take people for granted? Why do we miss someone after they are dead? Do they know we miss them? Why can't we talk to the deceased? Why don't we know when we are going to die? What will happen 1 year from now? 1 month? 1 day? 1 hour?

Why can't we stop time? Why is it the single most governing element known to man? Was there a purpose to the concept of time?

Why do the little things in life grab our attention? Why do we feel positive seeing a sunrise? Why do we behave like little children on a sea shore? Why do we admire the beauty of nature? Why do we destroy it? Why are we saddened by suffering? What do we do to prevent it? Why don't we offer to the needy? Can we ever obtain true maturity?

Why are we blessed with friends? Why do we feel happy at their success? Why do we feed saddened by their failures? Why do we compare our failures with our friends' success? Why do we look upto them for support? Why do we still feel lonely amongst their presence? Why do we expect partiality within friends? Why do we crave for attention? Why do we fight for our friends? Why is it difficult to balance friends and parents?

Why do we die? What happens afterwards? Is there life beyond death? Do we take another birth? How do we know these facts? Can we assertain them? Can we meet God in the next world? Why do we fear God now? Does he really exist? Are sages true? Can they possess the will to renounce all wordly pleasures? Can we become sages? Will we do it because we want to run away from responsibility? Why do we find so hard to balance activities and spirituality? Can we ever do it?

Will we be at peace with ourselves? Will we be at peace with our surroundings? Will we leave everything to destiny? Can luck and destiny co-exist? How many lives do we need to answer these questions? Will that be the end?

Music Vibes

As a kid, my tryst with Carnatic music was rather extensive. My grandfathers followed it with great interest and so did my father. Fundamentals were learnt by me at a young age. Not much, but enough to appreciate the subtleties .

Recently, while doing some random searches on the internet, I stumbled upon some works of Dr.K.J.Yesudas and Dr.John.B.Higgins. I grew up listening to my father's cassettes and my affinity towards these two great artists grew then. It was awesome to hear those ragas and songs once again. Music in it's pure form!

Dr.Yesudas' Mahaganapathim and Dr.Higgins' Entharo Mahanu Bhavulu were classics that invoke great interest among young and budding artists even to this date. I also came upon some songs from the movie Sindhu Bhairavi. A Balachandar film starring Sivakumar in the lead is studded with carnatic songs by Dr.Yesudas. It is amazing that their charm still holds even today atleast with me. It is hard to find classics these days. If you get a chance to watch the movie, I would highly recommend it. The story is about a famous carnatic artist and his love for music, his love affair with his fan, his downfall and return to stardom. Very beautifully taken!

Dr.Higgins' rendition of the krithi Entharo Mahanu Bhavulu is considered a gem and his most recognized work. This song is attempted with difficulty even with Indian artists. An American doctorate of music, he was well known and respected among the Indian music fraternity as a gifted foreign artist. He holds the distinction of an American artist performing at the Thyagaraja Music Festival, a highly regarded and sacred fesival of music. He has been aptly given the title Bhagavathar- Scholar of Music.

Perhaps my quest for work these days has sparked my interest once again in carnatic. I found myself remembering most of the words in these songs. I guess the subconscious mind still preserved them!

Listening to music these days is listening to noise. I can't imagine people actually appreciate them. On the western music front, pure rock and roll nearly died after the eighties. What resulted was an onslaught with no definitive theme and lyrics that were filled with bullshit. Artists focussed more on how they looked rather than how they performed! There are very few performers left today who make good music and their charm holds good to this date.

Well, it seems like I've discovered my roots. Hope this tree expands!

The Mind of a Jobless man!

As a certified (well atleast by me!) job seeker, I seem to have a lot of free time on my hands. Waiting for calls that may or may not come is surely a lot of work! I seemed to have received the gift of time. All I need now is a gift of space and I could well make a continuum.

I wish to present a recent phone conversation (read techinical interview) that I had with Sidney a while ago. Please pay more attention to what I thought rather than what I said. Fine line that.

For those illiterate ones, unfortunate technical graduates like us have to go through the ordeal of one (or two) telephonic interviews before we are called for an on-site one. That is the company's way asking you to remove your pants and bend over.

Sidney: Hello! Is this Siddarth?
Me(answering): Hello Sir! I was expecting your call.
Me(thinking): Damn! Sidney's a man!

S: I wish to talk to you. Are you free?
M(a): Sure Sir!
M(t): Are you freaking kidding me???? Free is my middle name!

S: We are currently screening candidates for this profile.
M(a): Oh..ok
M(t): Reeeaally?? Was I scratching around when I applied for it??

S: I wish to speak to you about the same. Can you explain the projects you've put up?
M(a): Sure....blah...blah....blah....
M(t): Read it bitch! It's only in English and it's definitely not rocket science!

S: Oh good...I see...
M(a): blah...blah...blah....
M(t): Don't interrupt my train of thoughts..As it is I do not have too many of 'em!

S: Very good. Seems you have used this tool a lot...
M(a): Thank you. Yes, I have used it quite extensively in my coursework
M(t): If you ask about it..I swear I'll swear!!

S: Can you tell me how to use this aspect of this tool to tailor this application?
M(a): umm....blah....blah....umm..blah
M(t): FUCK! There I kept my promise.

S: It appears you have done a bit of team work too...
M(a): Yes. I seem to have rather nice memories of working in a team.
M(t): Seeing is not believing man!!

S: Can you explain?
M(a): blah...blah....blah...
M(t): I go the distance to make sure that I have chicks in my team. Do you know how hard it is especially when you have such a small number of them in engineering???

S: Ok....Can you tell me what is abc concept and how is is applicable in this situation?
M(a): ummm.....I'm not sure Sir..
M(t): WTF?????

S: Give it a try....
M(a): I think it can be used in...ummm...blah..blah...ummm
M(t): Man! I'm lying my ass off!!

S: Ok...I'll buy that....Tell me what do you mean by blah...blah...
M(a): umm...blah...blah....
M(t): Sonofabitch..you bought that???? Either I should get a Nobel prize or you should quit!

S: Seems I have asked all that I wanted to....
M(a): Ok..
M(t): Funny you're still alive and on the phone.

S: Is there anything you want to ask me?
M(a): Yes, can you expand on the specifics of this profile?
M(t): What is your underwear size??

S: Oh,alright...blah....blah...blah....
M(a): ummm....uh-huh...uh-huh...ummm
M(t): I'm making bedroom (or bathroom) noises now..

S: blah...blah...blah....blah....
M(a): ????
M(t): ???????????

S: blah.....blah....blah...blah.....blah.....
M(a): I see...Very interesting....
M(t): ????????????????????????????????

S: I guess that's pretty much the profile...
M(a): Very good Sir... seems to be to my liking...
M(t): Will Carmen Electra go on a date with me?

S: Is there anything else?
M(a): Oh yes!...blah...blah...
M(t): Really??

S: blah...blah...blah....
M(a): Thank you very much
M(t): Wow..you can talk! I was just trying to show off.

S: Well, that wraps it up. Thank you for your time.
M(a): A pleasure Sir.
M(t): I used to aim to pee..Now I aim to please too!!

S: We will notify the results soon. Have a good day!

M(a): I look forward to hearing from you.

M(t): Kill me...Kill me NOW!

(Dis)claimer: All characters in this post are fictitious. Any resemblence to these characters only assertains the fact that you had way too much free time to think about this post when you met them!