To Revise or Not to Revise

Graduation with no job is like dressed up with nowhere to go! Suddenly time stands still. How much can you search for jobs? I'm pretty sure each database server in every company knows my Resume by heart. I'm pretty sure it must be thinking....Shit this guy again!

But that's just the order of the day. Funny that after 16 gruelling years, we come to USA to become small entities in "The Land Of Opportunities". The next couple of years instills a firm resolve in everyone never to touch a texabook once more! So thinking thus, we graduate...only to find that the ordeal does not end there. This time we have a powerpack of the previous 18 years. Pretty easy to receive a powerpacked punch! I seem to lose the mark of differentiation between funny and irony.

So I have been brushing up right from my multiplication tables to complex technologies. From A for Apple to behavioral interviews. It's a good feeling that you still remember your multiplication tables from 1-12. Beyond that, my Casio fx-115W does the job without complaining. Inspite of this, we get screwed in the interviews. I think God has branded us to get fucked time and again so much that we can earn our bread and butter just by passing on the knowledge or maybe the art. I'm not being a pervert so please sense my sarcasm.

Over the past few weeks, I have been regularly clocking close to 6 hours per day pouring over books, online materials and what not. I even have a pdf version of my multiplication tables. Pretty high tech huh! I truly feel sorry for my laptop..the poor guy sits awake the whole day. I guess when Sony built mine, they would not have realized that this guy's birthright is to get screwed. Kinda similar what God thought about me! So I guess we are made for each other. Oh I cannot forget bandwidth utilization. Time-warner is surviving because of me!

So with my grey cells going black, I better end this blog before it shuts down completely!

Rajni Mania

A friend of mine recently sent this about Rajni! I actually wish some of them were true! Thalaivar rocks!!!

*There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Rajnikant has allowed to live.
* Outer space exists because it’s afraid to be on the same planet with Rajnikant.
* Rajnikant counted to infinity - twice.
* When Rajnikant does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.
* Rajnikant is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
* Rajnikant doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
* Rajnikant gave Mona Lisa that smile.
* Rajnikant can slam a revolving door.
* Rajnikant does not get frostbite. Rajnikant bites frost.
* Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a Padayappa on Satellite TV
* There are no races, only countries of people Rajnikant has beaten to different shades of black and blue.
* Rajnikant’s house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.

Adolescent Graduate

So end of the innocence is here. Tomorrow I graduate from being a college student to a job seeker. I would like to take this opportunity to be thankful for all those sleep inducing classes over the past couple of years. The teachers put us to sleep so quick that we would be dreaming about the hot chick in the late night movie the previous night. Too bad we won't relive those memories again.

So memoirs of a student life that taught me the following definitions...

Engineering: Logical excuse to screw up...Every single time.

Studies: New word in your dictionary...Visited by accident.

Research: Forceful imprisonment in a lab.

Lab: Deadlier than Alcatraz.

Assistantship: Formality for freeloading some money.

Library: A place where you get high speed internet access for any non academic websites.

Classroom: A place where you hone your skills to sleep with your eyes open

Books: A commodity that weightens your backpack tenfold.

Notes: Something the professor gives to show he has free access to the copier.

Exams: Quick and painful fuck.

Girls: Anything that is non-male.

Confidence: A feeling of getting through the month with only 100 bucks in your pocket.

Frustration: An engineer's bosom buddy.

Late: An engineer's definition.

Wishful thinking: Hooking up with a girl.

Booze: Best friend on Friday nights.

On-campus job: Timepass for many hours in the week.

Gymnasium: A place that NEVER should be visited during the semester.

Laptop: Style statement that burns a hole in your pockets...pants...thighs

Apartment: Hang out place for your friends...friends' friends....friends' friends' friends....

Kitchen: Home for cockroaches.

Internship: Money for nothing.

Permanent Job: 9-5 burnout routine.

Car: Owned by a friend...Driven by you.

Groceries: Monthly savings wholloped in an hour.

Road-Trip: Long drive where expenses are divided by 5 or more!

Vacation: Actual excuse to get up late.

Weekend: Something that lasts for as long as the blink of an eye.

Cooking: Something only eaten to live.

Your cooking: Your pride...and only yours.

Friend's cooking: A foreplay to food poisoning.

Cleaning: One time activity before inspection.

Wal-Mart: Cheaper than a dollar store.

Mall: Never to be visited with a girl.

Time: Only available to waste.

Graduation: Ceremony to commemorate the above knowledge.

Jobhunt: Every graduate student's worst enemy.

Thus I graduate into ignorance. But then again ignorance is bliss. So I shall stick with that. Congratulations to me!

The JUST IS League!

I had been meaning to write this for a few days now. I had been completely hooked on by the cartoon series-Justice League. This was WB's attempt featuring a star studded cast of Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, Green Lantern, Martian Manhunter, Hawk Girl and Flash. These characters formed the initial line up which eventually led to Justice League Unlimited featuring truly unlimited heroes!

So as a brief introduction, Superman and Batman had been fighting crime in their respective cities of Metropolis and Gotham and occasionally bumped into each other. Green Lantern was somewhere in deep space and so was Hawk Girl who came from the planet Thanagar. Wonder woman was busy training in her kingdom of Amazon where men where forbidden but the ladies were bombs! Flash was just runnin' around...

During an earth threatening situation (So what else is new?) Martian Manhunter (Jon Jones) used his telepathy to bring these heroes together. Then it was Superman who proposed the Justice League. Batman the lone wolf he was, chose to act as a part time member and founder. So this is a conversation among the first Justice League members. Read on!

Superman: So thank you all for coming. We have a crisis on our hands.
Flash: Do we really??? I'd say these lovely ladies are causing a crisis to my heart!
Batman (to himself): Jackass!
Jon (reading Batman's thoughts): Hehe
Wonder woman: Be serious guys. Justice League is not a joke.
Green Lantern: Yeah. And we are soon going to convince the villians that it definitely is not!
Superman: That's the spirit GL!
Hawk Girl: So WTF is the problem now??
Superman: Right right....Joker and Lex Luthor have joined forces.
Batman(to himself): Sonofabitch....This Joker is always up my ass. One of these days I'm gonna fart on his face.
Flash: I'm on the case. I'd like WW and HG for company.
GL: No Flash! Anyone but these babes. How about my bitch?
Superman: No foul language!
GL: I meant bitch..as in a female dog.
Jon: Pervert! In Mars we did not have bitches....Just Martians!
WW: Yeah. Speak for yourself.
Superman: Anywayyyy...what are we going to do?? Batman?
Batman: I am going to kick Joker's ass so hard this time that it'll not be a joke to him.
HG: That's it!! I want in on the ass kicking too.
WW: Oh no you don't! GL's your boyfriend. Bats is mine!!
Batman: Will these ladies ever let me work?? This is why I said I'm a loser.Ahem..sorry..loner.
WW: Sure...How about you and me lonesome tonight at the watch honey??

SM: Shit! Elvis just died!
Flash: How come grumpy Bats gets the ladies??
Jon: Ladies do not prefer sissies!
Flash: Hey! Who are you calling a sissy??
Superman: Oh brother!!!
GL: Hey HG! You and me..groovy tonight? How about it???
WW: Hey Batman! You still have not answered my question.
Jon: I wish I were stuck in Mars.
Batman: So Superman. Ignore these women. They always screw around with the good guys and fuck around with our duties!

Jon: Yeah ladies.It's better to be old and dutiful than bold and beautiful.

GL: Free advice from Mars? Really???
SM: Yeah. WW and GL...You will stay here in the Watch Tower. No food for you tonight.
Jon: Throw in the no food thing for Flash too. He never keeps his trap shut.
Batman: Yeah. In fact, I can bear with Joker than with this clown!
HG: Hey WW...What do we wear tonight?
WW: I think our costumes are sexy enough!
HG: Right on!
Batman: I thought SM assigned you guys the Watch Tower duty.
HG: So who says a woman can't dress up??
Batman(to himself): Oh Fuck! Women!!!!!!
Jon: Hehe...So SM who is going to fight Luthor and Joker?
SM: Finally!! Batman and GL will take down Joker. You and me will go for Luthor.
Flash: What about me??????
SM: You are with the Bitch. Till further notice!
WW: Awwww...Don't worry honey! After our watch, we shall model for you some of the new outfits we bought. Won't we HG?
HG: For sure! Will FTv be there??
SM: I'm gonna quit this job. I was a better loser when I was alone.
Batman: I second that!!!
SM:???????
GL: Wow Bats! You do have a sense of humour!
Batman(rises): Now let's go for some ass whipping. Last one to the plane is THE Loser.
SM,Jon,GL: We don't need a plane dumbfuck. We fly!
Batman(has the look of a Suckkaa on his face)
GL: Aww...Do you want in on the modeling too??
Batman: NO THANKS! I prefer the Suckkaa!! Laterz Dudez
GL: Seriously aren't you a little too old for dude lingo??

Flash: Well, smack my ass and call me Flashie!!

SMACK....SMACK....SMACK..
Jon(to himself): Now that's what I call a Justice League meeting.

I really am a huge Batman fan! But I HAD to blog this! If there ever is going to be a movie on Justice League, this would be my take on the characters:

Superman: Ben Affleck
Batman: Christian Bale
Wonder Woman: Jeniffer Connelly
Hawk Girl: Denise Richards
Green Lantern: Samuel.L.Jackson
Flash: Mark Wahlberg
Martian Manhunter: Bruce Willis

So I hope you have realized that I have way too much free time!!