Adolescent Graduate

So end of the innocence is here. Tomorrow I graduate from being a college student to a job seeker. I would like to take this opportunity to be thankful for all those sleep inducing classes over the past couple of years. The teachers put us to sleep so quick that we would be dreaming about the hot chick in the late night movie the previous night. Too bad we won't relive those memories again.

So memoirs of a student life that taught me the following definitions...

Engineering: Logical excuse to screw up...Every single time.

Studies: New word in your dictionary...Visited by accident.

Research: Forceful imprisonment in a lab.

Lab: Deadlier than Alcatraz.

Assistantship: Formality for freeloading some money.

Library: A place where you get high speed internet access for any non academic websites.

Classroom: A place where you hone your skills to sleep with your eyes open

Books: A commodity that weightens your backpack tenfold.

Notes: Something the professor gives to show he has free access to the copier.

Exams: Quick and painful fuck.

Girls: Anything that is non-male.

Confidence: A feeling of getting through the month with only 100 bucks in your pocket.

Frustration: An engineer's bosom buddy.

Late: An engineer's definition.

Wishful thinking: Hooking up with a girl.

Booze: Best friend on Friday nights.

On-campus job: Timepass for many hours in the week.

Gymnasium: A place that NEVER should be visited during the semester.

Laptop: Style statement that burns a hole in your pockets...pants...thighs

Apartment: Hang out place for your friends...friends' friends....friends' friends' friends....

Kitchen: Home for cockroaches.

Internship: Money for nothing.

Permanent Job: 9-5 burnout routine.

Car: Owned by a friend...Driven by you.

Groceries: Monthly savings wholloped in an hour.

Road-Trip: Long drive where expenses are divided by 5 or more!

Vacation: Actual excuse to get up late.

Weekend: Something that lasts for as long as the blink of an eye.

Cooking: Something only eaten to live.

Your cooking: Your pride...and only yours.

Friend's cooking: A foreplay to food poisoning.

Cleaning: One time activity before inspection.

Wal-Mart: Cheaper than a dollar store.

Mall: Never to be visited with a girl.

Time: Only available to waste.

Graduation: Ceremony to commemorate the above knowledge.

Jobhunt: Every graduate student's worst enemy.

Thus I graduate into ignorance. But then again ignorance is bliss. So I shall stick with that. Congratulations to me!