Allllright!!
This post will be a an act of sorts between 3 people. Jackass Judge, Pub(l)ic Prostitutor (Pube) and Duffer Defendant. A not so typical courtroom drama..
JJ: Order in the courtroom...ORDER in the courtroom...
PP: But Mi Lord...there is no one here but you, me and Duffer
JJ: I know Pube...I like to just bang this hammer thingy on the table.....
PP: Ahem..ahem....let's proceed on with the case then....Mishter Duffer Defendant, do you plead guilty to the charges?
DD: ?????
JJ: Oh for Satan's sake, let Duffer know what he is guilty of!
PP: Sorry Mi Lord...I have'nt been in the courtroom for a while...
DD (to himself): Looks like I can wriggle my balls out of this...whatever "this" might be!
PP: Alright Duffer, the charges against your name are being virgin, being single and a bad forgotten childhood....Babool..oh sorry Kubool hai???
DD: Mi Lord, Mr. Pube is trying to convict me of these false allegations.....I request a rematch...
JJ: OK...but Duffer, you must please keep in mind that this is not a game...It's your past life we're talking about...
DD: Screw that...I want a rematch...
PP: Duffer does not know what he's talking about...Mi Lord, I would like to present the Case for the Defence...
JJ: OK Pubes...Proceed before I need to take a leak again
PP (Clearing his throat): Duffer, I will be asking you a few questions based on which Mi Lord Jackass will decide for or against the charges on your name
DD: Mi Lord, I request the court to proceed...Do I get some time to practice?
JJ: DUFFER!! Please pay attention to the questions! Don't make me strike this hammer thingy
PP: Name?
DD: Defendant...Duffer Defendant
PP: Address?
DD: I'm normally in my own world..
PP: What the Fuck??? Mi Lord..permission to Object
JJ: Screw that...Overruled!
PP: Mi Lord Jackass, with all due respect..what the fuck was that???
JJ: I always wanted to say...OVERRULED! Proceed...but I'll interrupt you from time to time..
PP: Phone Number?
DD: 1&2..But only Nature is allowed to contact at it
PP: You're being smart eh?? Wait for the next few...I'm going to rip you apart..
PP: Date of Birth?
DD: Two hundered and Eighty Eight hours before yours
PP: How do you know that? You do not even know my Birthday...
DD: I did that to confuse the Prostitutor...
PP: Point Taken...The Prostitutor is confused....moving on..
PP: Sunsign?
DD: April fools day....
JJ: Could have been called Duffer's Day..
DD: Thank you Mi Lord...
PP: That was a sarcastic remark....You Duffer!
PP: Your Biggest Assets?
DD: Yet to come
PP: What the fuck?????
JJ: Order....ORDER....Never mind...I did that just for kicks
PP (to himself: I'm stuck like a whore between Jackass and Duffer): You're Sad About?
DD: I will miss you all
PP: You mean...when you will miss all your friends?
DD: ahaan
PP: FUCK!!
PP: Your Most Memorable Moment:
DD: When I came out in this world, the Doctor was so happy!
PP: Looks like the Doctor was a peadophile...Was it someone called Mike???
PP: Your Biggest Strength?
DD: Below the belt and in the mouth
PP: Let's see...that's below the belt.....and..
JJ: Me want to see...me want to see...
PP: Mi Lord...please control yourself....All in good time...
JJ: Order in the courtroom!!
PP: Your Hobbies?
DD: Walking around hills and Reading
PP: Walking around hills????????
JJ: Reading is not actually a hobby...It's more of a knowledge thing....Free thought of the day..
PP: Your Favourite Singer?
DD: Myself..
PP: Oh really??? Are you being funny???? How can you rate yourself as a favourite...That's so full of vain
PP: A girl/boy you like the most and why?
DD: Myself because I am just outstanding and cool
PP: Hmm....Self righteous bastard. Mi Lord please note this point
JJ: Can I borrow your pen?
PP: Ok never mind...You love wearing?
DD: Clothes, Rings and a Girl on my arm...
JJ: What are the rates and the cost involved?
PP: Mi LORD!!!!!!
PP: Your Best Male Teacher?
DD: Please GROW UP and get out of school...
PP: Point taken...Mi Lord.please note this.....Oh never mind..
PP: Your Favourite Movie?
DD: M, HSSH, KKHH, HAHK, ID4...
JJ: Can we have a Morse Code expert here? Looks like Duffer is trying to say something..
PP: No Mi Lord, they used to be popular acronyms for movies...
JJ: Fuck Me!! You have to be kidding
PP: Your Favourite Serial?
DD: Kellogg's Choco...
PP: NO! Not Cereal...Oh never mind!
PP: The Novel You Love?
DD: Jeffery Archer....
PP: Now you have proved that you are retarded....
PP: Your Favourite Animal?
DD: Cat because I resemble it...
JJ: Oh Goody!! Duffer is a Manimal...Quick!! Turn into a frog
PP: Mi Lord, we do not have a princess to bring him back...
PP: Your nickname?
DD: The Excellence of Execution!!
PP: Oh fuck! (To himself:This self gloating bitch is killing me)
PP: Your Ambition?
DD: Getting lots of 3M
JJ: Where are them code breakers?????
PP: Your Dearest Pal?
DD: Yeah Right!! The one and only Pamela Anderson Lee..
JJ/PP: Oh really?? Ours too!
PP: Your Favourite Actress?
DD: All those who do less of acting and more of showing
JJ: We have reached new levels of bonding now....Order in the courtroom!! ORDER in the courtroom
PP: Your Best Female Teacher?
DD: Boooooooze
PP: Very Nice! I have noted that point!
PP: Your Dream Lover?
DD: How do I know who loves my dream?
JJ: By Jove! That was rhetoric. Order ORDER!
PP: Your Favourite Comic?
DD: Playboy/Debonair..well that's comic for me..
JJ: How dare you toy with the emotions of this court???? Objection OVERRULED!!!!
PP: But Mi Lord, I did not object...And it should have been SUSTAINED and not OVERRULED!
JJ: Screw you!! Next question....
PP: Your Favourite Actor?
DD: Sorry! I don't swing that way. I'm strictly HETERO
PP: Fair enough. I'm not so I'll move on...
PP: Love to You Is?
DD: Physical Attraction, Chemical Reaction and Biological Reproduction
PP: WOW! Will you marry me???
PP: The Teacher You Hate Most?
DD: Grow Up!
PP: Ok
PP: Your Most Embarassing Moment?
DD: In school, I'd left my fly open
PP: Very nice...I hope you were covered....
JJ: Were you..were you..were you???
DD: Yes Mi Lord. Please cover yours..
PP: The Person You Hate the Most?
DD: I don't hate..I love everyone...
PP: My my! (To himself: Kill me...kill me NOW!)
PP: Your Latest Crush?
DD: Last night I crushed a bottle of mineral water...
JJ: Oh you did..did you?? I crushed one today
PP: Your Favourite Pastime?
DD: Roaming around and travelling
PP: Now wait a minute....Got you there! Roaming around and travelling are two contradictory things...One is planned, the other is not!! I say, Mi Lord...Objection
JJ: We will now take a short recess
PP/DD: You can't take a recess now!!!!!
JJ: Ok then..I'll dig my nose instead....
PP: What You Feel For Me?
JJ: Pube!!! Don't!!
DD: It's ok...I would like to answer that....You're not as dumb as you look..So start looking smarter!!
PP: I am through with my cross examination, Mi Lord....Please deliver your verdict to the court if Duffer is a Loser
JJ: Has the Jury reached it's verdict???
PP (sighs): Mi Lord Jackass, there is no Jury remember?
JJ: In that case, we will take a recess here.....
So that was it! In case you did not get what the hell I've been talking about, this extract was based on a collection of nonsense written in my SLAM Book. So I hope I have wasted your time. Inconvenience is not regretted.
Claimer: All the content here is reproduced in it's exact form. So go screw yourselves!!
This post will be a an act of sorts between 3 people. Jackass Judge, Pub(l)ic Prostitutor (Pube) and Duffer Defendant. A not so typical courtroom drama..
JJ: Order in the courtroom...ORDER in the courtroom...
PP: But Mi Lord...there is no one here but you, me and Duffer
JJ: I know Pube...I like to just bang this hammer thingy on the table.....
PP: Ahem..ahem....let's proceed on with the case then....Mishter Duffer Defendant, do you plead guilty to the charges?
DD: ?????
JJ: Oh for Satan's sake, let Duffer know what he is guilty of!
PP: Sorry Mi Lord...I have'nt been in the courtroom for a while...
DD (to himself): Looks like I can wriggle my balls out of this...whatever "this" might be!
PP: Alright Duffer, the charges against your name are being virgin, being single and a bad forgotten childhood....Babool..oh sorry Kubool hai???
DD: Mi Lord, Mr. Pube is trying to convict me of these false allegations.....I request a rematch...
JJ: OK...but Duffer, you must please keep in mind that this is not a game...It's your past life we're talking about...
DD: Screw that...I want a rematch...
PP: Duffer does not know what he's talking about...Mi Lord, I would like to present the Case for the Defence...
JJ: OK Pubes...Proceed before I need to take a leak again
PP (Clearing his throat): Duffer, I will be asking you a few questions based on which Mi Lord Jackass will decide for or against the charges on your name
DD: Mi Lord, I request the court to proceed...Do I get some time to practice?
JJ: DUFFER!! Please pay attention to the questions! Don't make me strike this hammer thingy
PP: Name?
DD: Defendant...Duffer Defendant
PP: Address?
DD: I'm normally in my own world..
PP: What the Fuck??? Mi Lord..permission to Object
JJ: Screw that...Overruled!
PP: Mi Lord Jackass, with all due respect..what the fuck was that???
JJ: I always wanted to say...OVERRULED! Proceed...but I'll interrupt you from time to time..
PP: Phone Number?
DD: 1&2..But only Nature is allowed to contact at it
PP: You're being smart eh?? Wait for the next few...I'm going to rip you apart..
PP: Date of Birth?
DD: Two hundered and Eighty Eight hours before yours
PP: How do you know that? You do not even know my Birthday...
DD: I did that to confuse the Prostitutor...
PP: Point Taken...The Prostitutor is confused....moving on..
PP: Sunsign?
DD: April fools day....
JJ: Could have been called Duffer's Day..
DD: Thank you Mi Lord...
PP: That was a sarcastic remark....You Duffer!
PP: Your Biggest Assets?
DD: Yet to come
PP: What the fuck?????
JJ: Order....ORDER....Never mind...I did that just for kicks
PP (to himself: I'm stuck like a whore between Jackass and Duffer): You're Sad About?
DD: I will miss you all
PP: You mean...when you will miss all your friends?
DD: ahaan
PP: FUCK!!
PP: Your Most Memorable Moment:
DD: When I came out in this world, the Doctor was so happy!
PP: Looks like the Doctor was a peadophile...Was it someone called Mike???
PP: Your Biggest Strength?
DD: Below the belt and in the mouth
PP: Let's see...that's below the belt.....and..
JJ: Me want to see...me want to see...
PP: Mi Lord...please control yourself....All in good time...
JJ: Order in the courtroom!!
PP: Your Hobbies?
DD: Walking around hills and Reading
PP: Walking around hills????????
JJ: Reading is not actually a hobby...It's more of a knowledge thing....Free thought of the day..
PP: Your Favourite Singer?
DD: Myself..
PP: Oh really??? Are you being funny???? How can you rate yourself as a favourite...That's so full of vain
PP: A girl/boy you like the most and why?
DD: Myself because I am just outstanding and cool
PP: Hmm....Self righteous bastard. Mi Lord please note this point
JJ: Can I borrow your pen?
PP: Ok never mind...You love wearing?
DD: Clothes, Rings and a Girl on my arm...
JJ: What are the rates and the cost involved?
PP: Mi LORD!!!!!!
PP: Your Best Male Teacher?
DD: Please GROW UP and get out of school...
PP: Point taken...Mi Lord.please note this.....Oh never mind..
PP: Your Favourite Movie?
DD: M, HSSH, KKHH, HAHK, ID4...
JJ: Can we have a Morse Code expert here? Looks like Duffer is trying to say something..
PP: No Mi Lord, they used to be popular acronyms for movies...
JJ: Fuck Me!! You have to be kidding
PP: Your Favourite Serial?
DD: Kellogg's Choco...
PP: NO! Not Cereal...Oh never mind!
PP: The Novel You Love?
DD: Jeffery Archer....
PP: Now you have proved that you are retarded....
PP: Your Favourite Animal?
DD: Cat because I resemble it...
JJ: Oh Goody!! Duffer is a Manimal...Quick!! Turn into a frog
PP: Mi Lord, we do not have a princess to bring him back...
PP: Your nickname?
DD: The Excellence of Execution!!
PP: Oh fuck! (To himself:This self gloating bitch is killing me)
PP: Your Ambition?
DD: Getting lots of 3M
JJ: Where are them code breakers?????
PP: Your Dearest Pal?
DD: Yeah Right!! The one and only Pamela Anderson Lee..
JJ/PP: Oh really?? Ours too!
PP: Your Favourite Actress?
DD: All those who do less of acting and more of showing
JJ: We have reached new levels of bonding now....Order in the courtroom!! ORDER in the courtroom
PP: Your Best Female Teacher?
DD: Boooooooze
PP: Very Nice! I have noted that point!
PP: Your Dream Lover?
DD: How do I know who loves my dream?
JJ: By Jove! That was rhetoric. Order ORDER!
PP: Your Favourite Comic?
DD: Playboy/Debonair..well that's comic for me..
JJ: How dare you toy with the emotions of this court???? Objection OVERRULED!!!!
PP: But Mi Lord, I did not object...And it should have been SUSTAINED and not OVERRULED!
JJ: Screw you!! Next question....
PP: Your Favourite Actor?
DD: Sorry! I don't swing that way. I'm strictly HETERO
PP: Fair enough. I'm not so I'll move on...
PP: Love to You Is?
DD: Physical Attraction, Chemical Reaction and Biological Reproduction
PP: WOW! Will you marry me???
PP: The Teacher You Hate Most?
DD: Grow Up!
PP: Ok
PP: Your Most Embarassing Moment?
DD: In school, I'd left my fly open
PP: Very nice...I hope you were covered....
JJ: Were you..were you..were you???
DD: Yes Mi Lord. Please cover yours..
PP: The Person You Hate the Most?
DD: I don't hate..I love everyone...
PP: My my! (To himself: Kill me...kill me NOW!)
PP: Your Latest Crush?
DD: Last night I crushed a bottle of mineral water...
JJ: Oh you did..did you?? I crushed one today
PP: Your Favourite Pastime?
DD: Roaming around and travelling
PP: Now wait a minute....Got you there! Roaming around and travelling are two contradictory things...One is planned, the other is not!! I say, Mi Lord...Objection
JJ: We will now take a short recess
PP/DD: You can't take a recess now!!!!!
JJ: Ok then..I'll dig my nose instead....
PP: What You Feel For Me?
JJ: Pube!!! Don't!!
DD: It's ok...I would like to answer that....You're not as dumb as you look..So start looking smarter!!
PP: I am through with my cross examination, Mi Lord....Please deliver your verdict to the court if Duffer is a Loser
JJ: Has the Jury reached it's verdict???
PP (sighs): Mi Lord Jackass, there is no Jury remember?
JJ: In that case, we will take a recess here.....
So that was it! In case you did not get what the hell I've been talking about, this extract was based on a collection of nonsense written in my SLAM Book. So I hope I have wasted your time. Inconvenience is not regretted.
Claimer: All the content here is reproduced in it's exact form. So go screw yourselves!!
