Dad-A Father Figure

When you have a lot of things to say about a person, have you realized you do not know where to start? And worse still, where to end!

When I was small, everyone talked about mom looking after me but he was there to look after me when no one was looking. When I was having problems with Math and Science, he was the patient teacher. When I needed money for the hot samosas at the school cafeteria, he gave me money without asking a question. When I demanded an increase in weekly allowances, he never budged so that I could learn to save. When I reached adolescence, he took all my emotional outbursts and still managed a smile and suffered alone. When I left for college, he consoled mom when he was crying inside. When I left for higher studies, he pretended to be busy so that he would not have to bear the pain of being away from me. When I bought him a gift from my first salary, he showed it to everyone like a small kid. When I returned back, he showcased me proudly to all his friends. Today he gives importance to my opinions like a second self.

To everyone, a dad is someone who is not around a lot. Someone who goes to work the same time you leave for school and gets back much later than you. Someone who worships work and respects it. Someone who keeps a check on expenditures and draws the line between luxury and moderation. Someone who likes to read his morning paper with his coffee. Someone who does not like to be disturbed when the news is on. Someone who maintains an account of day to day expenditure. Someone who never discusses problems in front of the kids. Someone who is always practical. Someone who has a wealth of experience in holding and pulling a family through thick and thin. Someone who does not support boyfriends or girlfriends. Someone who has the super sense to spot the good and bad qualities in your friends. Someone who does not opinionate unless asked for. Someone who will not hesitate to do anything when it comes to providing the best education for his kids. Someone who gets your daily meal by spilling his sweat and blood. Someone who always cries inside and never on the out.

Yet, he is always the under acheiver of the family. A mother's love is truly alturistic. But no one ever talks about fatherly love. The truth of the matter is, why do we look upto our fathers the way we do? A professional and a practical man who would call a spade a spade. Maybe because, a motherly love is more coaxable, makes you feel more secure?

These were some of the thoughts that ran through my mind as I was watching an episode of The Wonder Years, where the dad has been portrayed as a closed man. I thought of mine while watching that episode and my entire life flashed in front of me. I thought of how I gave him joy, how I caused him pain, how I hurt him and how I respect him. Family ties tend to strengthen over distance. Mine surely has.

To Revise or Not to Revise

Graduation with no job is like dressed up with nowhere to go! Suddenly time stands still. How much can you search for jobs? I'm pretty sure each database server in every company knows my Resume by heart. I'm pretty sure it must be thinking....Shit this guy again!

But that's just the order of the day. Funny that after 16 gruelling years, we come to USA to become small entities in "The Land Of Opportunities". The next couple of years instills a firm resolve in everyone never to touch a texabook once more! So thinking thus, we graduate...only to find that the ordeal does not end there. This time we have a powerpack of the previous 18 years. Pretty easy to receive a powerpacked punch! I seem to lose the mark of differentiation between funny and irony.

So I have been brushing up right from my multiplication tables to complex technologies. From A for Apple to behavioral interviews. It's a good feeling that you still remember your multiplication tables from 1-12. Beyond that, my Casio fx-115W does the job without complaining. Inspite of this, we get screwed in the interviews. I think God has branded us to get fucked time and again so much that we can earn our bread and butter just by passing on the knowledge or maybe the art. I'm not being a pervert so please sense my sarcasm.

Over the past few weeks, I have been regularly clocking close to 6 hours per day pouring over books, online materials and what not. I even have a pdf version of my multiplication tables. Pretty high tech huh! I truly feel sorry for my laptop..the poor guy sits awake the whole day. I guess when Sony built mine, they would not have realized that this guy's birthright is to get screwed. Kinda similar what God thought about me! So I guess we are made for each other. Oh I cannot forget bandwidth utilization. Time-warner is surviving because of me!

So with my grey cells going black, I better end this blog before it shuts down completely!

Rajni Mania

A friend of mine recently sent this about Rajni! I actually wish some of them were true! Thalaivar rocks!!!

*There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Rajnikant has allowed to live.
* Outer space exists because it’s afraid to be on the same planet with Rajnikant.
* Rajnikant counted to infinity - twice.
* When Rajnikant does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.
* Rajnikant is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
* Rajnikant doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
* Rajnikant gave Mona Lisa that smile.
* Rajnikant can slam a revolving door.
* Rajnikant does not get frostbite. Rajnikant bites frost.
* Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a Padayappa on Satellite TV
* There are no races, only countries of people Rajnikant has beaten to different shades of black and blue.
* Rajnikant’s house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.

Adolescent Graduate

So end of the innocence is here. Tomorrow I graduate from being a college student to a job seeker. I would like to take this opportunity to be thankful for all those sleep inducing classes over the past couple of years. The teachers put us to sleep so quick that we would be dreaming about the hot chick in the late night movie the previous night. Too bad we won't relive those memories again.

So memoirs of a student life that taught me the following definitions...

Engineering: Logical excuse to screw up...Every single time.

Studies: New word in your dictionary...Visited by accident.

Research: Forceful imprisonment in a lab.

Lab: Deadlier than Alcatraz.

Assistantship: Formality for freeloading some money.

Library: A place where you get high speed internet access for any non academic websites.

Classroom: A place where you hone your skills to sleep with your eyes open

Books: A commodity that weightens your backpack tenfold.

Notes: Something the professor gives to show he has free access to the copier.

Exams: Quick and painful fuck.

Girls: Anything that is non-male.

Confidence: A feeling of getting through the month with only 100 bucks in your pocket.

Frustration: An engineer's bosom buddy.

Late: An engineer's definition.

Wishful thinking: Hooking up with a girl.

Booze: Best friend on Friday nights.

On-campus job: Timepass for many hours in the week.

Gymnasium: A place that NEVER should be visited during the semester.

Laptop: Style statement that burns a hole in your pockets...pants...thighs

Apartment: Hang out place for your friends...friends' friends....friends' friends' friends....

Kitchen: Home for cockroaches.

Internship: Money for nothing.

Permanent Job: 9-5 burnout routine.

Car: Owned by a friend...Driven by you.

Groceries: Monthly savings wholloped in an hour.

Road-Trip: Long drive where expenses are divided by 5 or more!

Vacation: Actual excuse to get up late.

Weekend: Something that lasts for as long as the blink of an eye.

Cooking: Something only eaten to live.

Your cooking: Your pride...and only yours.

Friend's cooking: A foreplay to food poisoning.

Cleaning: One time activity before inspection.

Wal-Mart: Cheaper than a dollar store.

Mall: Never to be visited with a girl.

Time: Only available to waste.

Graduation: Ceremony to commemorate the above knowledge.

Jobhunt: Every graduate student's worst enemy.

Thus I graduate into ignorance. But then again ignorance is bliss. So I shall stick with that. Congratulations to me!

The JUST IS League!

I had been meaning to write this for a few days now. I had been completely hooked on by the cartoon series-Justice League. This was WB's attempt featuring a star studded cast of Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, Green Lantern, Martian Manhunter, Hawk Girl and Flash. These characters formed the initial line up which eventually led to Justice League Unlimited featuring truly unlimited heroes!

So as a brief introduction, Superman and Batman had been fighting crime in their respective cities of Metropolis and Gotham and occasionally bumped into each other. Green Lantern was somewhere in deep space and so was Hawk Girl who came from the planet Thanagar. Wonder woman was busy training in her kingdom of Amazon where men where forbidden but the ladies were bombs! Flash was just runnin' around...

During an earth threatening situation (So what else is new?) Martian Manhunter (Jon Jones) used his telepathy to bring these heroes together. Then it was Superman who proposed the Justice League. Batman the lone wolf he was, chose to act as a part time member and founder. So this is a conversation among the first Justice League members. Read on!

Superman: So thank you all for coming. We have a crisis on our hands.
Flash: Do we really??? I'd say these lovely ladies are causing a crisis to my heart!
Batman (to himself): Jackass!
Jon (reading Batman's thoughts): Hehe
Wonder woman: Be serious guys. Justice League is not a joke.
Green Lantern: Yeah. And we are soon going to convince the villians that it definitely is not!
Superman: That's the spirit GL!
Hawk Girl: So WTF is the problem now??
Superman: Right right....Joker and Lex Luthor have joined forces.
Batman(to himself): Sonofabitch....This Joker is always up my ass. One of these days I'm gonna fart on his face.
Flash: I'm on the case. I'd like WW and HG for company.
GL: No Flash! Anyone but these babes. How about my bitch?
Superman: No foul language!
GL: I meant bitch..as in a female dog.
Jon: Pervert! In Mars we did not have bitches....Just Martians!
WW: Yeah. Speak for yourself.
Superman: Anywayyyy...what are we going to do?? Batman?
Batman: I am going to kick Joker's ass so hard this time that it'll not be a joke to him.
HG: That's it!! I want in on the ass kicking too.
WW: Oh no you don't! GL's your boyfriend. Bats is mine!!
Batman: Will these ladies ever let me work?? This is why I said I'm a loser.Ahem..sorry..loner.
WW: Sure...How about you and me lonesome tonight at the watch honey??

SM: Shit! Elvis just died!
Flash: How come grumpy Bats gets the ladies??
Jon: Ladies do not prefer sissies!
Flash: Hey! Who are you calling a sissy??
Superman: Oh brother!!!
GL: Hey HG! You and me..groovy tonight? How about it???
WW: Hey Batman! You still have not answered my question.
Jon: I wish I were stuck in Mars.
Batman: So Superman. Ignore these women. They always screw around with the good guys and fuck around with our duties!

Jon: Yeah ladies.It's better to be old and dutiful than bold and beautiful.

GL: Free advice from Mars? Really???
SM: Yeah. WW and GL...You will stay here in the Watch Tower. No food for you tonight.
Jon: Throw in the no food thing for Flash too. He never keeps his trap shut.
Batman: Yeah. In fact, I can bear with Joker than with this clown!
HG: Hey WW...What do we wear tonight?
WW: I think our costumes are sexy enough!
HG: Right on!
Batman: I thought SM assigned you guys the Watch Tower duty.
HG: So who says a woman can't dress up??
Batman(to himself): Oh Fuck! Women!!!!!!
Jon: Hehe...So SM who is going to fight Luthor and Joker?
SM: Finally!! Batman and GL will take down Joker. You and me will go for Luthor.
Flash: What about me??????
SM: You are with the Bitch. Till further notice!
WW: Awwww...Don't worry honey! After our watch, we shall model for you some of the new outfits we bought. Won't we HG?
HG: For sure! Will FTv be there??
SM: I'm gonna quit this job. I was a better loser when I was alone.
Batman: I second that!!!
SM:???????
GL: Wow Bats! You do have a sense of humour!
Batman(rises): Now let's go for some ass whipping. Last one to the plane is THE Loser.
SM,Jon,GL: We don't need a plane dumbfuck. We fly!
Batman(has the look of a Suckkaa on his face)
GL: Aww...Do you want in on the modeling too??
Batman: NO THANKS! I prefer the Suckkaa!! Laterz Dudez
GL: Seriously aren't you a little too old for dude lingo??

Flash: Well, smack my ass and call me Flashie!!

SMACK....SMACK....SMACK..
Jon(to himself): Now that's what I call a Justice League meeting.

I really am a huge Batman fan! But I HAD to blog this! If there ever is going to be a movie on Justice League, this would be my take on the characters:

Superman: Ben Affleck
Batman: Christian Bale
Wonder Woman: Jeniffer Connelly
Hawk Girl: Denise Richards
Green Lantern: Samuel.L.Jackson
Flash: Mark Wahlberg
Martian Manhunter: Bruce Willis

So I hope you have realized that I have way too much free time!!

Why?

Why are we born? What is our purpose in the Divine will? What is our contribution to the universe? Are we one with it?

Why are we protected in the womb for nine months? Why do we cry the moment we come out of it? Why are we given the parents we have? Which birth of ours is this one? Do we know it as a child? Can we really hear the voice of God when we are babies? Why do our parents care for us so much? Do we really care for them? Why is the only altruistic love that of a mother's? Why do they constantly put our happiness before theirs?

Why are we educated? Why are the most important things learnt by practice? How does an illiterate man learn the values of life? Are we all illiterate before God? Why cannot supernatural phenomena be explained? Why do we believe only in what we see? Can we ever comprehend the unexplained?

Why do we run this rat race? What happens after one race is completed? How many more do we have to run? What happens at the end of it all? Why do we follow a protocol in life?

Why do we get married to someone? How do we know a soulmate? Why do we love someone so dearly? Why is our first love so special? Why is it difficult to unite with our first love? Why don't we ever forget it? Why does it hurt when turned down? Why do we compromise after marriage? Why do we fight and make up? Why do we need a partner to share our feelings with?

Why do we feel the pressure to perform? Why can't we maintain focus when things don't look bright? Why do we fail? Do we possess the will to fight back? Why do we find excuses for our failures? What is success? How do we measure it? Is it relative? Why do we want more? Can we ever be content with what we have?

Why do we spend money? Why do we save it? Why are we slaves to it? Is there anyone who has true superiority to money? How much is too much? Why do we compare salaries? Why do we feel jealous of others' success? Why do others mock our success? Why do we act professional? Why do others want gain at your cost? Why do we do the same?

Why do we feel the importance of something when we do not have it? Why don't we realize an entity's importance when we do not struggle to get it? Why do we take people for granted? Why do we miss someone after they are dead? Do they know we miss them? Why can't we talk to the deceased? Why don't we know when we are going to die? What will happen 1 year from now? 1 month? 1 day? 1 hour?

Why can't we stop time? Why is it the single most governing element known to man? Was there a purpose to the concept of time?

Why do the little things in life grab our attention? Why do we feel positive seeing a sunrise? Why do we behave like little children on a sea shore? Why do we admire the beauty of nature? Why do we destroy it? Why are we saddened by suffering? What do we do to prevent it? Why don't we offer to the needy? Can we ever obtain true maturity?

Why are we blessed with friends? Why do we feel happy at their success? Why do we feed saddened by their failures? Why do we compare our failures with our friends' success? Why do we look upto them for support? Why do we still feel lonely amongst their presence? Why do we expect partiality within friends? Why do we crave for attention? Why do we fight for our friends? Why is it difficult to balance friends and parents?

Why do we die? What happens afterwards? Is there life beyond death? Do we take another birth? How do we know these facts? Can we assertain them? Can we meet God in the next world? Why do we fear God now? Does he really exist? Are sages true? Can they possess the will to renounce all wordly pleasures? Can we become sages? Will we do it because we want to run away from responsibility? Why do we find so hard to balance activities and spirituality? Can we ever do it?

Will we be at peace with ourselves? Will we be at peace with our surroundings? Will we leave everything to destiny? Can luck and destiny co-exist? How many lives do we need to answer these questions? Will that be the end?

Music Vibes

As a kid, my tryst with Carnatic music was rather extensive. My grandfathers followed it with great interest and so did my father. Fundamentals were learnt by me at a young age. Not much, but enough to appreciate the subtleties .

Recently, while doing some random searches on the internet, I stumbled upon some works of Dr.K.J.Yesudas and Dr.John.B.Higgins. I grew up listening to my father's cassettes and my affinity towards these two great artists grew then. It was awesome to hear those ragas and songs once again. Music in it's pure form!

Dr.Yesudas' Mahaganapathim and Dr.Higgins' Entharo Mahanu Bhavulu were classics that invoke great interest among young and budding artists even to this date. I also came upon some songs from the movie Sindhu Bhairavi. A Balachandar film starring Sivakumar in the lead is studded with carnatic songs by Dr.Yesudas. It is amazing that their charm still holds even today atleast with me. It is hard to find classics these days. If you get a chance to watch the movie, I would highly recommend it. The story is about a famous carnatic artist and his love for music, his love affair with his fan, his downfall and return to stardom. Very beautifully taken!

Dr.Higgins' rendition of the krithi Entharo Mahanu Bhavulu is considered a gem and his most recognized work. This song is attempted with difficulty even with Indian artists. An American doctorate of music, he was well known and respected among the Indian music fraternity as a gifted foreign artist. He holds the distinction of an American artist performing at the Thyagaraja Music Festival, a highly regarded and sacred fesival of music. He has been aptly given the title Bhagavathar- Scholar of Music.

Perhaps my quest for work these days has sparked my interest once again in carnatic. I found myself remembering most of the words in these songs. I guess the subconscious mind still preserved them!

Listening to music these days is listening to noise. I can't imagine people actually appreciate them. On the western music front, pure rock and roll nearly died after the eighties. What resulted was an onslaught with no definitive theme and lyrics that were filled with bullshit. Artists focussed more on how they looked rather than how they performed! There are very few performers left today who make good music and their charm holds good to this date.

Well, it seems like I've discovered my roots. Hope this tree expands!